I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
there was a trapeze. enough said
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
BRING THE BAGELS
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
