I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
