he puts the penis in happiness.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
