Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
