I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Crop dusting thru forever 21
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
