Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
