I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
