Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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