i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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