she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
