we're blogging at a bar
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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