Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
