I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
