Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
