I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
