She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
