On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
