i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Randomize
