I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
