I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
No more Irish car bombs ever.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
