you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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