I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He did a backflip because drugs
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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