well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
