my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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