they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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