she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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