"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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