My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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