Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
