is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
