so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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