just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
