i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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