FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
