I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
