I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
