She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
