Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
