I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
