He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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