Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
