My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
