the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
