Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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