We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
