dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My liver just broke up with me...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
operation harelip BJ is a go
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
