Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
