suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
