Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Randomize
