PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
