he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
