just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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