when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
