what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
