Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
