oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
